1165

It would appear I left without any warning.

I've started anew. Things have changed.

I'm going to export this blog from this account and maybe never import it back again.

It was a good run I guess. But I'm a different person now.

http://lesbanim.tumblr.com

1164

It's time again for another update. There would be more pictures but they're on Wilyum's blackberry. Friday was a bit of an epic day. I was driving to Bristol with Wilyum with a car full of stuff...

We’d left the house in the car, travelling down the M4 and then my brakes decided to fail and catch fire. We ended up perched on the hardshoulder for quite a while whilst some RAC man banged the car with a hammer.

Turns out the car needed a thousand new cables and what so we had to go in the garage to wait to get the car fixed. The part we were waiting for took almost five hours to turn up. FIVE HOURS! I cannot even establish half of the boredom that boyfriend and I suffered sitting in that garage on some of the most uncomfortable seats in the world. AND fixing the car cost over £100. Rubbish rubbish. We got on the road and got to Bristol almost six hours later than we’d intended.

The rest of the weekend turned out to be lovely. I went to a school fete with Wilyum, his mother and Rob. It was a bit boring but it's nice to go out I guess. Sunday was just a flopping day. We watched the tennis and got angry at Nadal. Drove home with no problems and flopped into bed :)

I've spent the day today pottering around. It's been odd not having Wilyum around. I finished my book although I've yet to write a review on it. I went out into the garden and went to look at my plants. My poppies are almost ready to bloom. I'm excited, they're so pretty. My wildflowers are blooming too :)


Also, I saw these newly potted pansies. I bought a packet of pansy seeds but never got around to planting them but my Dad seems to have done it for me. I love pansies. I'll wait until they grow a little bigger and then plant them out into my garden patch :)



This post has been quite garden related. I haven't got much to say really. I haven't done much and I don't really have plans. I might go out tomorrow and take photos- depending on the weather.

1163

Dude. I haven't blogged in TIME. It's been so busy this past week n'half. I've helped Wilyum move out of his flat and into his new one. Lots of stuff. I've adopted a hamster cage and a few pictures. I also found this little woollen hat from the memo tree. It's made a lovely hat for my pet rock.

So Wilyum and I started moving stuff out last Friday. He's been staying this entire week which has been totally lovely. We've watched a lot of Wimbledon and football. We've also done a lot of jigsaws :) The first was of a pair of foxes, the second of a rather sinister kitten and one that's a map of Africa. I helped with the last one the most, it was easiest :P Turns out I'm not very good at jigsaws :(



We went out charity shopping too. I bought 7 books and a new teapot and a cute little bunny. It was also rather hot.


Tomorrow Wilyum goes home and I'm staying up in Yate for a day or two. At the moment I'm too tired and hot to recall anything else that's happened this past week. But fuck me, it's July!

1162

Technology and life in general isn't being my friend today. My external won't connect to my computer, it's too hot, tumblr is broken, twitter keeps being overcapacitated, people are annoying me and I ache very bad. I forgot to ask my doctor for some stronger painkillers but I start my new anti depressants tomorrow. I guess that's something. I want to go to bed in my comfy Top Man pullover but it's just too hot :(
I started reading The Catcher In The Rye too. Whether it's my mood or just the book but I'm 30 pages in and not very impressed. I can't read any more today because my eyes refuse to focus on anything. My eyes get tired quicker than the rest of me so unless I'm really awake I can't read past 9pm.

I was also looking forward to snuggling down and watching Peter Rabbit. But like I said, my external is broken. Luckily, I have the audiobook :) I was going to listen to Boosh on audio but apparently that's fucked off along with my Jonquil album, Billy Elliot and Finding Nemo. I'm very cross. But I have this new juice, it's summer fruits with barley and it's very nice :)

I went out to the museum and Coopers field today. I took a few photos. Take a look. S'all good. I feel productive... Well, productive enough any way.
I hope I sleep okay tonight. I keep waking up with a very high heart rate and I can't breathe and it's not very nice. Hmmm.
Goodnight :)

This is a picture I took of my favourite butterfly. I don't know what it's called though :(

1161

Today's been rather alright. Done a few productive things. I went to the Post Office to post my boots. £50 in the bank now from selling that. I went to the Deri and bought some wildlife books from my babysitting money. When Dad got home I presented him with his Father's day present. He's so happy with it. I think we'll have a cinema night on Saturday or something. Invictus (which is what I bought him) is such a lovely film, I haven't seen it in a while. Father and I also put up my mirror and made holes for where my kitten canvases are going. That should be all up tomorrow. I need to put my photos in frames and have them put up too. Lots to do, lots to do.

It's also been a very crafty day. I've been doing a few projects and made a start on a present for Wilyum. First off I jumped on the record melting bandwagon and made a little bowl from a Bullet For My Valentine record that I'm pretty sure I've never even listened to. It's made a lovely holder for some mints :) I'm going to go gather more records when I have the time. I want to see if I can make a plate, bowl and cup set.


I also started painting a box that's been lying around for a few months. With just one colour mix of white and red I managed to get the colour almost perfectly matched to my bedroom wall colour. I was rather proud of that :)
I've started to stick some shells on it. I'm not quite sure what I really want to use it for though... I might use it as a crafty pot... but I already have a button box and a ribbon box... hmmm. We'll see :)


Oh! And what I made for Wilyum and myself the other day- a pet rock. I think they're ever so cute, even if he does look a little sinister. I was going to name him George, but the PJ Tips monkey that sits next to him is already called George so I don't know :(


Tomorrow I think I'll go to Hobbycraft and possibly a few charity shops. Mother says I should go and have tea with my Nana and Grandad which I might do, I'm not sure. It'll depend on my mood I guess. I'm quite enjoying being crafty at the moment. It's very calming :)

1160

So toady, I've spent most of my time drawing cowboy hats onto sharks. And giving stingrays smiles.



They look very unhappy when they don't have superimposed smiles on their faces.

Turns out I'm not doing the triathlon tomorrow. It's kinda annoying but I'm just going to do it as a solo effort on some other day. Get a bit more training in beforehand.

I finished all my cats too. I shall take a picture and upload when they're all put on my wall :)
I'm off to Yate tomorrow I thinks. That'll make for a nice day out :)

1159

So it's all been a'happnin' this week. Well, it hasn't, but I feel productive.

I meant to upload some photos but I never got around to it. Mother and I went to the beach on Saturday to look for shells. We didn't find many but had a good time anyway. I kinda wish I'd taken my good camera. We went for a walk up on the cliffs afterwards and there were some beautiful butterflies. I didn't even try to take their photos with my shitty little camera. BUT we saw starfish. I don't know if I can ever remember seeing starfish on a British beach- they were alive n'all :D






Monday was a bit of a bad day and I spent most of it indoors. But Tuesday and Wednesday I went to the gym. I was going to go today but I'm too tired. I've signed up for a charity triathlon for Saturday. Whether I'll get around to doing it is another thing. My gym is terrible at organising things. But if it does happen I get a shirt and it's gonna be cool :)

I think that's all I've really done. Today I did a lot of house work and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the gym and pick up sister and her boyfriend who is coming to stay. I think we're having a family BBQ on Sunday at the beach. I might take my camera and just potter off and take photos. Wilyum isn't down this week either which makes me sad. I haven't seen him in an entire week. I know. ZOMG. Stop everything. It seems an awful long time when I normally see him everyday.

Mah. I'm bored and I don't know what to do with myself. I might continue reading An American Psycho. I'm really progressing with it. Should be finished by tomorrow night if I keep going :)

1158

I want friends.

Yeah, it's probably just a cry for attention.

1157

So, I'm on these new pills. Mirtarzapine they're called. They've made me a zombie this entire week. I officially left my job and have spent the whole week in my bed sleeping and getting grumpier by the day. It's totally awful. They're making me over eat and over sleep so of course I've put on weight like a motherbitch. It's rather unfortunate. I've stopped taking them now. They aren't really helping at all. I have doctors in two weeks so maybe something will be sorted then.

My room's been re-done though. It's all finished and wonderful. The paint is a lot pinker than I really like, but it blends nicely with the furniture and the new bedspread. I've made a start on some of the art that I want putting up to. The second picture is one of the nine canvas pieces I'm making to do a 3x3 picture spread of a cat and piano. Sometimes, I out cool myself.




I can't really think what else to write about. I'm not doing anything new or have done anything spectacular.

If people are reading, hi y'all :)

1156

I'm sure when my new life of freeness comes into place I'll have the time and energy to blog about all the cool and trendy stuff I've been doing with my days. Today I bought some ace stuff in a charity shop. A skirt, a bag, a teapot, jigsaw and the most amazing pair of 50p flipflops- I bought two pairs :)

Hannah and I went out on the boats today at Roath Park. It was lovely. There were baby geese and baby swans all around and it was just gorgeous.

Springwatch has started again too and I'm all in wildlife fever. I might actually get up early tomorrow and go sit in the hide down at forest farm for a few hours. I'm sure I'll keep you informed and updated if I do go out. I should really tell my boss I'm not coming back...

1155

All I seem to do is work and sleep.
I was meant to blog reviews about Alkaline Trio and Lights but I haven't had the time or the energy. I barely have the energy now and I have to go out to work in twenty minutes.
It's rather pathetic.

My room re-do is well under way though. Look, almost empty. Exciting times.

1154

Due to recent absence and much thought, I've figured that keeping a blog to update when I feel like it is a much better idea than keeping a blog every day for the sake of it. I mean, I've posted every day for three and a half years, I think that's enough.

Plus, blogging every day kinda takes the fun out of it. I'm sure if I post every three days or something I'll actually write something worth reading. For example this week, for the days that I haven't blogged I've done nothing but work and then sit at home. Well, yesterday I went to see Wilyum for a bit but we didn't do much because he was feeling poorly. We did have some quite lovely pie though...

Today Wilyum and I went to the bay. It's still five billion degrees here in Cardiff but today we went out to go and see a Bob Dylan exhibition thing at the Castle Galleries. It's his birthday today. He's sixty nine apparently. Crazy man. Oh, these photos are all taken by Wilyum. I'm sure he won't mind me stealing them.



Bob Dylan's art was rather fanciful. I'm not a total fan but I thought it was cute. We walked up to the church and to the lighthouse boat. There were such a cute little family of swans all cheeping away. Cute little things. There's nothing cuter than baby anythings :P



Did more walkings up to the barrage that ties with Penarth. By then I'm pretty sure Wilyum was ready to die in a heap and ready to kill me in a heap for making him walk all that way in the heat. I thought it was totally lovely. You can easily see Flat Holm, Steep Holm and Weston from there. Especially on such a lovely day like this.





We walked back and had lunch on the light ship. Then I went up to hospital to have my little operation. I'm still hurting and I've missed work. I still don't know it mother phoned in to say I'm sick. I try and avoid my boss at all costs. Unless you know her, it's quite hard to describe how she is. A pain, and a serious one at that.

I really haven't got anything planned for my evening. I really need to just stay sat down. I might break out my book and have another read. Although it is rather too hot to concentrate on anything right now.

1153

Drinking so much last night was a seriously bad idea. I don't actually think it was the fact that I drank quite a bit- I only had 4 and a half pints which is the exact same I had last time I was out. I shouldn't have drunk so much when I felt so ill. I got in from the pub and was sick, had a very rough sleep and was sick in the morning. I pretty much spent the entire morning vomiting. It was horrible. No headache, I was just being sick and shivering like mad. I had a bath around midday and managed to rest up and fall asleep in bed for an hour or so.

I've spent the day not doing much. I've been feeling like death. I'm still wondering whether I'll be okay for work tomorrow. Mah. I managed to finish the first Lord Of The Rings book and I watched a few Disney films. That's pretty much it. Oh, and I tumbled a fair bit of John Lennon too. Jumping on the retro bandwagon :)

1152

Early works today. All done by midday and I was in bed trying to sleep. Didn't though, I felt sick and I kept on getting terrible dreams when I drifted off for 5 minutes at a time. I shouldn't have gone out really but I suppose it's good to. Went up to the pub with work friends and that's pretty much it. We placed a few ace games of pool and it was just a thoroughly pleasant evening.
Plus I finished off watching House MD and Desperate Housewives which have now both finished until September. I miss House every time it goes away. Good ending. Well, I thought so anyway.

(Via WeHeartIt)

1151

All I can do is apologise. To you, to all of you. I take things too seriously, over think, under think. Assume, presume and generally make an ass of myself. I'm scared, so scared, so worried. In my mind I'm being constantly judged by everyone. They're taking account of everything I say, everything I do. So I need to be careful. If I do something wrong, I need to say sorry. It must be down to anxiety. That or my weird, weird head. I don't know. I can't explain it. Explaining is what I do damnit! I'm so scared of putting my foot out of line with the people I love, I over apologise and that ends up doing more damage than good- so I apologise for that too. Retarded is what it is.

I don't really want to talk much about my day. It's been uneventful.
I'm going to bed.

1150

Today's been a right old mix. I've had quite a productive time without really doing much. My mind has been on fire with thoughts that I really should write out. I managed to finish my scarf and I'm so close to finishing Lord Of The Rings. I don't get all the hype about that book. It's beautifully written, like it's a whole different world. So accurate it feels real, but is there really need for so many songs and irrelevant drivel? Probably not. I'll give it a while before I start on the others. I started American Psycho last night and although I know the story, it has promise from the beginning.

I can't think of much else I've done with my day. I've tried to fiddle with my phone. It keeps crashing because there are too many messages on it. I haven't deleted any since February and it's making it very slow. It can't even delete them without crashing so I have to do them ten at a time. It's a painful and boring process and I really can't be bothered with it. I've also been trying Omegle today, intermittently. I don't even know why. Trying to find someone to talk to. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is starting to get rather annoyed with me constantly talking to him all the time about every insignificant little thing. I don't know. I'll fix it.

I've somehow just lost all power of speech. I'm going to bed.

1149

I don't know how I'm still going. I've been up since 06:45 and I've had an hour nap and I'm not a big ball of death. What the hell?! I lay around in bed for two hours, but it still doesn't account for how awake I feel right now. Work was exhausting n'all. The guy I'm normally with has left so I had to take on all his work too, which meant I barely stopped all morning. I went to ASDA to go and do some shopping and I bought a cute outfit and two new pairs of flipflops. I have no idea why. I think I've got a sevire case of impulsiveness today. Something like that. I'm saying things without really thinking about it. Not so much in a bad way, but a strange way. My mind is alive tonight but caged. I'd rather it not be so alive so I could sleep. I want to write. I feel the need, the urge to write. I hate that I never have a thing to write about. A few years ago it was when I had these moods I produced my best artwork. The majority of my art stuff is in boxes now and plus, I have no ideas. At least then I had goals and deadlines. That is the one thing that is pretty much 100% missing from my life right now. The only thing I really need to do is work and that doesn't really involve much effort, mental effort anyway. I know I'm going to miss it when I leave in September. I've made such good friends with my colleagues and even some of my customers. I found out that one of them, Ray, who's in his early seventies, has cancer. It made me well and truly sad. We never exchange more than a few words at a time but it still upset me a bit. Another one of my favourites, Mrs Beckford who is one hundred and four years old! Total insanity. She's so active and crazy I refuse to believe she's that old. Enough about that. See, I told you I was in a really rambly mood today.

I don't know what to do with myself tomorrow. I really want to go and see Wilyum but he's got very important revision to do. I'm working about twenty hours this week with a few things going on at other times. I say that, I've got an Amber Project meeting on Tuesday. I'm going to meet the head lady. Her name is Caryl. She sounds very nice. I need to go to the office and we'll have a cup of tea and chat, about what I don't really know. If she thinks going to Amber will be good for me, that'll be something to do on my Friday nights. I really should try and go to the gym tomorrow. I haven't been for two weeks. Knowing my luck, my energetic mood today will be replaced by total apathy and exhaustion tomorrow. Who wants to bet?

Right, I've run myself out of words and have nothing better to say. I need to make lists.

One I took yesterday :)

1148

Woke up this morning feeling a bit sick. Up early nonetheless. My mind likes to taunt me on my days off, waking me up at god knows early in the morning when I need not be awake. It meant I was all up and ready to go out by ten though. I went to pick up Wilyum and we went up to the Wenallt and took some photos. I'll put them on my photoblog in due time.

Ventured home and watched the football. Well, part of it. I never seem able to stay awake for an entire football match. Pathetic is what is it. Boo. Chelsea won anyway. I was impartial and wasn't really awake to pay much attention to it. Wilyum left soon after and I went to bed and had a proper sleep. Awoke later to fussle round and clean my room and put more things in boxes. In bed and trying to sleep by half past eleven. My life is so damn exciting :P

1147

Woke up feeling a little sick. Quite unlike us, we didn't get out of bed until about nine in the morning. Caught up on our Eastenders, got showered and went out. We went to the old antique shop that I've been wanting to visit for years but could never find because it's hidden away behind some buildings. The place is huge and smells like damp. In a good way, like the smell of old books and dust. I'm not sure what the point of that shop actually is. None of the junk is really in good enough condition neither is it special enough to be sold at a good price yet a lot of the stuff in there was quite heavily priced. That said, I would easily fork over £200 for a second hand grandfather clock. I was very tempted to get a kitten plate for £1 but it had a little chip in the corner... and I realised I didn't have any place to keep it.

I felt a bit ill but had to go home for work. Parted with Wilyum and then did my 5 hour shift. It very nearly killed me. Everyone at work was feeling a bit shite so we all decided to go out to the pub for a meal. A different pub this time, it's about a mile walk away but it's so much more cosy and I didn't get IDed, which is always good. We sat and chatted and ate pizza and it was a truly good time. Plus I was home and in my bed by midnight. Winners :)

1146

Yet again I got all behind on my blogs. Bollocks. Today is Thursday and I can't even remember what I did with myself. I probably went to go see Wilyum. In fact, I did. Ah yes! I spent the day around the house and then I went to the pub with Wilyum's uni friends. They're all so lovely. Wilyum kept playing George Harrison on the jukebox. Some awesome man sitting in the George Harrison-esq chair was air guitaring along. Now he's christened as the most awesome man ever :P

That's pretty much it.

1145

I don't really understand relationships based on lies. Just watching Eastenders and every one is lying about everything. Eastenders is more real-life then it might seem. I don't understand why people lie, even tiny white lies. Lies for no reason. If you're doing something that you need to lie about- just don't do it. Granted, I lie. There's only one person I don't lie to, because I never need to. I never do anything to upset him or anything I need lie about. Almost everyone lies, or even if they don't they twist the truth. As sappy and lame as they are, I want a relationship like my parents have. They're so sweet. They argue like any couple sometimes but they never lie about anything, even when keeping surprise secrets about parties or gifts. Every story is always cheating and lying. No wonder everything has gotten all screwy with people and their lives. It's why Skins has made me so cross. I can't think of one relationship where someone hasn't cheated on the other. Hmmm. I don't know why I really felt the need to write about that, I guess blogs are here to write shit on right?

Today has somehow worn me out. Crazy. I did four hours of work today and came home and had a little sleep. I met up with Bethan in Starbucks for a little chat and a coffee. Afterwards I went to see Wilyum and stayed there all evening. I came home earlier than I planned, so tired from the nothing that I've done today. I really don't understand the way my body works. Mah. I could ramble on about how I don't understand but that wouldn't get me anywhere.
Tomorrow is my day off. I'm gonna go to the gym, call the Amber Project and go to Wilyum's for the night. Sounds like a good day to me :)

1144

I hate on days off when I wake up stupidly early for no reason. It's like my brain is teasing me- the bastard. But yeah, I was up at five and just lay in bed trying to sleep and make the most of the fact that I didn't need to be in work until eleven. No such luck. So I watched some House and L Word and got up and went to work which was just lame.

Went to Wilyum's straight after work and we sat around and watched Life On Mars. I quite like it, never seen it before but I might download some. I cooked pasta for tea that was actually really nice. That's been pretty much it with my day. You may not think so, but that's what I'd count as a super productive day. Two places? AND cooking? Crazy times. Too much effort for me at any rate :P
It's rather upsetting.

1143

An early start is never really the best, but we had tea and it was all cool. Xena and I left the hotel at twenty past six in the morning with hope that it wouldn't take long to locate the bus stop. Oh, so very wrong. It took us over an hour to find the bloody thing. We had to ask over five people and if the bus had been on time, we would've missed it. Luckily, it was ten minutes late and we managed to find it just before it was about to leave. Journey home wasn't particularly fun. Xena got sick and I was just really uncomfy and tired.

I was home and in my bed by eleven o'clock and just went to sleep. Spent the rest of the day flopping around the house. Well, it's what I do best :)

1142

Day 30 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Because he does have his mind set on you.


Today was Hole day. After work I met Xena at the station and we started on our Birmingham adventure. The bus journey was a bit boring. I tried to sleep but that didn't work. We arrived at about six in the evening and went to McDonalds for a drink and to eat our sammiches. Headed to the o2, luckily knowing where it was this time. Saving many a mile walking around trying to find it... like last time. We were in academy 2 I think, it was nice and new. There was a sofa by the merch stall and Xena and I commandeered it for the first two acts. We truly suck :P

Hole took forever to come on but it was rather worth it. A good selection of the new and old classics. Celebrity Skin, Malibu, Doll Parts :) I'm not the hugest fan of the new album but it was good to hear. Courtney was tired, quite obviously. Either that or she really couldn't be bothered, but then, neither could I :P
She showed her bum right at the end too :P She's so cool. Paha.

We made it to the hotel without getting raped or attacked or such like. £19 for our room was pretty damn good. It was a big room, nice bathroom and free tea and coffee. Compared to the last time I went away and it cost £40 to get a room without a bloody window- our room tonight was just great. Fell asleep to the Johnny Depp movie Blow. The bed was comfy too. A good day all round :)

1141

So it's the penultimate day of the 30 day quiz thing. Months go by too fast.
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
I don't really have dreams or plans for anything. I'm dead annoying like that. I'd like to say I take every day as it comes but I really don't. I sit around until I find the motivation to do something productive. Normally doesn't even result in me leaving the house. I know in the summer I'm going to Scotland, I hope to get back to school in September. And a few weeks after that I'm 18... I don't even know :(

Today I went to Ikea.

That is all.

1140

Day 28 — This year, in great detail
January, I got a boyfriend :D February, I dropped out of school and got a job. March, I went to gigs. April, I worked a lot. May, is good :)

I woke up intermittently throughout the election night. I don't really know what I was expecting. We're not as quick and efficient as America and almost 24 hours after the polls have closed we've still got one constituency to declare. We've got a hung Parliament anyway. No party has a majority which means, if we stick with a minority government, legislation is going to take forever to get through. David Cameron got 306 seats, Labour 258 and Lib Dems got 57. Still one to declare though, not that it'll make a slight bit of difference. Even if Labour decide to stay in power and form a coalition with the Lib Dems, they still won't have enough seats for a majority. I don't think Nick Clegg will take that risk. I found this on the BBC website. Sums up what I'm trying to say.



David Cameron has made him an offer and I think he'll take it. It makes sense to. That'll be 363 seats for them which is 37 above the majority line. No party is perfect but I think a Lib Dem/Conservative coalition will be good. If Clegg can push through electoral reform that'll be even better. My constituency went to the Conservatives and my parents aren't pleased. I'll be honest, I'm rather indifferent. Cardiff North has always been a Labour seat for as long as I can remember and Julie Morgan was good. This Jonathan Evans guy better be good. I might look him up on the internet... Okay, I'm done :P

I went to snuggle with Wilyum for the morning and we stayed there for a few hours. He still felt a bit ill :( We went up to the Deri and Wilyum bought buns and I got a Euro Millions and some seed for the birds. He left to go back to Bristol around midday and I've spent the rest of the day flopping around and really not doing much. I finish packing up all my books and started taking down my posters. I got about 1/4 of the way through when I just got bored of it. I didn't quite realise how much shit I had on my walls. Well, it's night now and I'm gonna read a book and go to bed :)

1139

Day 27 — This month, in great detail
I don't do much with my days except work. That's really it. Work, visiting boyfriend and the occasional hospital appointment. Oh, I went to the cinema this month... I need to get out more :(

So today is a very important day in the UK. Election day. I can't even vote but I take a very big interest. I'm sure I'll update y'all tomorrow about what's happening/happened.

Wilyum and I didn't get out of bed for ages this morning but we did eventually and came back to my place. I went out to work and Wilyum slept and watched House :P
After my shift, I came home, showered. We had tea and then started our election night 'party' as it were. It was all set out to be a party. We had pizza and crisps and popcorn but turns out, we're not made out for such stuff. We both felt ill and went to bed before half past eleven :P